Second Best
by Ghouse89
Summary: Lady Deadpool is always doing what other people want. But watch her as she finally decides to act of her own accord and realize what she wants. Seriously, all you have to do is click on the title and find out. Lady Deadpool/Wanda Wilson fic.
1. Chapter 1

_So I decided to tackle this for the sheer fun of it and see how it turns out. I have no idea why but for some reason, I've started to love Lady Deadpool more than Deadpool. I mean, she has so much potential as a character, and besides who doesn't love a strong female lead kicking ass and taking names? It's very empowering for some reason (Remember Buffy?). Well, here goes nothing! By the way: Wanda's voices are in italics and bold-italics, while hers is in the bold.  
_

_**Chapter-Second best.**_

I have no idea how I got from where I was to where I currently am now. Irony is a cruel bitch that has conspired with her talkative yet mildly attractive sister, Fate, to pluck me from the only place that I ever knew as home. And she didn't stop there. Oh, no. She went even further. At first, the impromptu "we-need-you-to-save-the-universe" thing totally worked on me and I joined a group of similar, less attractive Deadpools that I have actually grown to like since they are really just different versions of me (which is ironic because I'm a bit self loathing.)

Anyway, some cliché-d cosmic entity hired me and the other me's to fight another cosmic entity, (why can't they get along?), in the male Deadpool's universe.

Yeah, I know—a male Deadpool. Cooties galore. But the mission surprisingly went well. Kinda sort of. We half assed it, got lucky and defeated the awareness (lame name for a villain right? I said we should call him Frank). Then, we kinda wandered around the vastness of space for a while, and did the usual, y'know—helped put the smack down on some space pirates, helped a world become financio-economically (is that a word?) aware, much to the chagrin of their very angry king. Just the usual craziness that space tourists usually get into.

And then all of a sudden, alpha malepool suddenly has to come home to his earth and take care of business. I heard him muttering something about a team up comic and uncanny x-force, whatever the hell those are. Tito, the dog and the zombie head took the ship and decided to go spend some time touring the world. Although, that was after I nagged them about staying safe and making sure I had a way to reach them in case of trouble. Arrrggghh! I can't believe I'm naggy now. Next thing you know, I'll be buying a pair of mom jeans.

For some reason, at the moment, I've found myself in one of my typical situations. I'm in a gun fight with a bunch of guys I don't know, in a city I don't know and I can't help think that this is all because I couldn't say no to the guy Deadpool's request because that's all I ever do—agree to other peoples wants cause I'm scared of disappointing people but all that's ever brought me is—

_Stop that!_

One of Wanda's voices echoed in her head as she ducked low behind the car that she was using as a shield, dodging a barrage of bullets as they hit the car and whizzed above her head. "**Say what?**"

_Stop narrating the story. You should focus on what's in front of you._

_**I concur.**_

"**I am focusing!**" she exclaimed as she stood up to fire incessantly at her combatants, dropping the clips out of the hand guns she held when they were empty and taking cover once more after that. "**I've totally got my head in the game, guys!**" she affirmed, loading new clips in each gun she held.

_No you're not. You don't even know who you're fighting._

_**I concur.**_

"**Yes I do!**" she said indignantly. "**They're…they're, umm…twilight fans?**"

_Bank robbers. _

_**Same difference.**_

"**Y'know, I actually like twilight, so why am I badmouthing it? Forgive me, Rob Patterson!**" she yelled as she yet again returned fire.

_Pattinson._

_**Whatever.**_

_I can't believe we're fighting bank robbers on a strange earth that we were sweet talked into coming to! We suck!_

_**I concur.**_

_Stop saying that!_

Wanda shoulders visibly slumped as the bullets continuously assaulted the vehicle she sat behind. "**…I know. I know. I…I don't know how to say no**" she lamented.

_**So you'd make a horrible bank teller. And professional 'no' sayer. So what?**_

"**And now look at us. We're fighting bank robbers in…where are we again?**"

_**Wisconsin.**_

_Really? Then don't say it._

_**Say what?**_

_I know you want to say cheese. So don't…even though I just did._

Wanda shook her head in anguish, feeling a bit down as she considered her plight. "**Yup. We really officially suck**" she admitted out loud to herself, pausing for a minute before suddenly letting go of her pistols and grabbing a grenade from her belt. Pulling the pin out and throwing it backwards over her head in one fluid motion, she was still pouting when the explosion went off and she felt the force of the blast as it was accompanied by the screams of the bank robbers. "**Seriously, what're we gonna do about our suckiness?**" she wondered, paying no heed to the destruction that she had just created.

_**Now you're talking.**_

_We need to stop sucking, pronto._

_**That's what she said!...as she was wearing the symbiote suit?**_

_Hilarious. Don't you think that it's odd for a girl make those kinds of jokes? They're insensitive._

_**What're you, a girl?**_

_YES!_

Jumping atop the hood of the car that had protected her so far, she assumed a crouching position as she surveyed what the damage was. Across the road, the bank doors had been blown off and two of them were sprawled near the wall, at some distance away from each other. The flames of the grenade didn't affect them, but the force had. They had obviously been thrown violently to the wall because one of them was bleeding profusely underneath a tiny crater in the wall that he had probably caused. The other one wasn't so lucky; his legs had been blown off and he was half passed out from the pain, moaning abatedly.

"**Whoops, this was totally my bad**" she said tentatively, walking towards the bank doors slowly now. "**These shrinky dinks probably stopped the alarm from going through. But after an explosion like that, cops'll probably be here in minutes**"

_Who was that shameless exposition for? Cuz it wasn't for us._

_**I like it. It's like having English subtitles for a movie that's in English.**_

Wanda's face scrunched up in disgust behind her mask, when she looked at the thief with the forcibly removed extremities. "**Yuck. That's nas—**"

The sound of gunfire interrupted her and she didn't know when she was suddenly being thrown a couple of feet onto her back. Grunting as her hands rovered over her torso, feeling numerous bullet wounds, she was surprised to see a third robber come out of the bank holding a duffel bag, the little part of his face that showed through his ski mask displaying an angry expression. "You killed Jim and Bob, you bitch!" he yelled at her, shaking his semi in her direction.

"**Hey! Mouth, young man! You can't shoot me **_**and**_** have your teenage angst thing; that's not fair!**" she croaked out, weakened by her sudden blood loss.

_I bet I know what you're thinking now._

_**That the author is an uncreative bastard who used this exact same 'shot-by-a-bank-robber-thing' for his 'X-23, Merc with a mind' fic?**_

_No! She's thinking about how she's always been putting other needs before hers, and how it's made her end up here._

_**Seriously, you're always gonna be second best to the guy version of you. People just knew him first. Even though you always existed when he did.**_

"**So…what do you want me to do**" Wanda asked, waiting as her body healed itself.

"What?" the masked gunman shouted. "Are you talking to me?"

"**Shush! Talking to voices here, Rudey McRudepants. Wait your turn**" she admonished, making the goon look at her like she was insane. "**So voices, continue…?**"

_You need to step out from Deadpool's Shadow. It's time for Lady Deadpool to shine._

_**Yeah, I mean, you're currently in a recycled scene from that 'Merc with a mind' fic. You're always getting Deadpool's seconds.**_

_It's time to do what you want. Not what anyone else wants._

"**Wow. You guys are actually agreeing with each other. You're serious**"

"What the f#$ are you talking about, lady?" the thug screamed, pointing the gun even closer at her. "And how are you still alive?"

"**Wait, you're still here?**" she asked, slowly attempting to get to her feet. "**Y'know, people who rob banks usually run afterward. Wasamatter, you haven't figured out that part yet?**"

"Oh, you bet I have. I'm using you as a hostage" he revealed, keeping the gun trained on her head, as she stood straight once again. As if on cue, the sirens of police cars blared throughout the area, signaling their approach. Wanda decided to play it even safer and put up her hands as the guy aimed his weapon straight at her. "**Okay, maybe you should ease up a bit. Let me guess, you're doing this for a girl, right?**"

"Shut up!"

"**Well, that answered **_**that**_** question. Watch the shooty thing, Tex!**" she warned, when she saw her captor get a little shaky and nervous with his firepower. "**But shooting my face won't do you any good. Things already fugly as uck**"

_Actually, you do know that you're gorgeous now, right? The awareness thing accidentally fixed it._

_**Seriously, she forgets every two seconds. Don't bother to tell her.**_

"**Oh, right…I should get that checked.**"

"Who the hell are you talking to? Huh? The police?" the robber questioned, panicking.

"**What? I could never afford one of those ear talkie things, seriously. Hey, are you expecting someone?**"

"No, why?" he asked, suspicious that she was up to something. Before she could respond with another one of her quips, a dark blue flash descended on him rapidly, knocking him out. Quickly getting up the figure took a somewhat defensive stance against Wanda. "Hey…you're the female version of that Deadpool guy" the costume clad teenage girl with long brown hair realized.

_**See? No respect.**_

_You sound like Jabberjaw._

"**And you're Spider-Girl. Not the MC2 version, otherwise known as fan favorite May 'Mayday' Parker, but the…other one.**"

Spider-Girl slowly started to see that there was no need to defend herself. "Huh. I didn't understand a word you said."

"**You're like my X-23 in this fic!...You are reading that 'Merc with a mind' garbage, aren't you?**"

"More words I don't understand. Uh oh" Anya said, seeing cop cars pull up in front of the bank with numerous cops getting out and pointing their weapons at them. "Uh, we gotta go" she announced, grabbing Wanda by the waist and using her web-grapple to pull them both to safety atop the bank building, luckily not getting hit by the police gunfire. "**WAHHOOOOOO!**" Wanda screamed, as they landed, and unfortunately she did so hitting her butt hard on the rooftop. "**Ow! Other than that questionable landing, that was awesome! Let's do it again!**"

"Okay" Anya said to herself as she stood arms akimbo looking at Wanda "she's completely insane. Just like how people say that Deadpool guy is." She watched the mercenary get up while unceremoniously rubbing her butt. "So, umm…were you robbing the bank or stopping those guys from doing so?"

"**Uhhh, whichever one gets me in the least trouble**" she replied, causing Spider-Girl to shake her head into her hand. "So, you _were_ stopping it, right?"

"**Yeah, I was. Crime fighting is empowering to chicks like us.**"

_Please, just don't weird her out with your strange beliefs._

"…**So, sweetie…are you ready for the incoming alien invasion and the rapture thing that comes before that?**"

"…Ooookayyyy…I'm just gonna go now" Anya muttered, turning to jump of the building and swing away. Before she could, however, Wanda held her back with a hand on her shoulder. "**Wait! If your Spider-Girl, then what're you doing in Wisconsin?**"

"This is New York" Anya deadpanned.

_**My bad.**_

_Are you sure you're not a boy voice? Only they could be so bad with the directions and the 'where are we now' stuff._

"**Whoops. New York, huh?**" she wondered out loud. "**That's pretty sweet**"

"Yeah, I guess…so, uh, what're you here to do anyway?"

Wanda's hand nervously shot up to the back of her head. "**Well, this is gonna sound corny but I guess that…I'm here to find myself. To find out where I belong, to make **_**myself**_** happy for a change**"

"Oh. That sounds…nice, actually. I hope you have luck with that. This city's insane"

"**Even better. Thanks, Squirrel Girl—**"

"_Spider_-Girl"

"**Jubillee. I hope I get lucky too**" Shaking her head yet again in disbelief at how awkward the crimson comedienne was, Anya turned and took off, leaving Wanda standing alone. "**So…?**"

_**We go do what you want.**_

"**And it could be anything?**"

_Anything. Except…y'know._

"**Hmm. So apart from kidnapping Steve Rogers and making him tell me I'm pretty over and over, what else can a girl do?**"

_You shouldn't say everything out loud, y'know. You're in a fic. People can read it._

"**Can they read…this?**" Wanda asked, holding up her hand to the sky and making an obscene gesture.

_No, but they can imagine. It's part of the freakin __motto__ of the site!_

Wanda stood with her head propped up at her chin by her hand and thought in depth about what she wanted to do. "**…I've got it!**" she finally proclaimed, after several minutes.

_**What? What do you wanna do.**_

"…**I wanna join the Avengers!**"

_Seriously?_

"**Yeah!**" she said, as she started pacing back and forth. "**I mean, back in our universe, the Avengers broke up early because of the whole registration thing and Cap became a huge tool not long after, so…I've always thought that I would make a great part of the World's premiere super-hero team. I know I have the chops to pull it off**"

…_That…is not so bad, really. Let's go to the Avengers then!_

_**I wish we could walk away from this place in slow motion with an explosion behind us. That would make it special.**_

_With the 'Buffy' theme song playing. That would make it special-er!_

"**Avengers, here I come!**" Lady Deadpool declared as she…what is this?

"**Say it, author guy!**"

Fine! As she…as she walked in slow motion to the Buffy theme song with a gigantic explosion behind her. There. Are you happy now?

"**Very, author guy. Very**" she confessed as she leapt to the building close by and kept going, determined to finally do what she wanted.

…_**The author guy sounds kinda cute.**_

_Don't date people you work with. Trust me._

The End?

_Well, there it is! Only in a Deadpool…I mean Lady Deadpool fic—can I flirt with a voice. How awesome is that? See you next time on "Second Best" when we get this bad boy rollin' and our Heroine (in more ways than one), Wanda, struts her stuff for the Avengers!...I'm just kidding. It's totally a one-shot. Thanks for reading, though!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh yeah! I went back on my decision and decided to expand this for as long as I can. Maybe several chapters at best. Don't hate on the spelling mistakes and stuff like that, so just suck it up and read it. It was rushed, okay? I'm going to be updating all my fics over the next few days and I decided to start with this one. Popular demand can be a bitch, I tell you. Enjoy the chapter and you can tell me what you hate or like about it. As you read this, the third chapter is half done._

_**Chapter Two-Wrong Turn at Albuquerque **_

"**Ta-daaaa!**" Wanda Wilson exclaimed, finally standing in front of a group of individuals that she was positive were the Avengers, in a place that she was dead sure was their headquarters. "**Introducing…the brand newest member of your team!**" she shouted, her voice shrill at the end. Expecting immediate acceptance not long after her, she was shocked to see the confused and shocked expressions on their faces, tinged with a little dread. She decided to counter their speechlessness with a question. "**Why are you guys staring like that?**"

_Uh…don't you notice anything strange about them?_

"**Like what?**" she mumbled.

_I don't know, like maybe the fact that they _aren't_ the Avengers!...also about the fact that their looking at you like you're crazy._

_**And by crazy you mean fabulous, right?**_

…_No._

Lady Deadpool's audience, in reality being the Great Lakes Avengers of Milwaukee, was somewhat too stunned to move as they stared at her with their mouths agape. A member of their team called Mr Immortal who was a blonde, red-and-blue clad unkillable klutz with an extremely apprehensive attitude towards Deadpool began to back away slowly. "No…it can't be…he's back…after some sort of…sex change" he mumbled.

Wanda was visibly confused at the reception. "**But…I've been a girl as long as I can remember!...although there was that one day during Freshman year that I lost a day after this wild ass party**" Her visage looked contemplative now. "**But I'm positively sure that nothing happened while I was passed out…sort of positively sure**"

_I think that was before we were created so I don't have any witty remarks about that memory._

_**I do! Here goes: boy, Wanda was sure slutty back then.**_

…_That wasn't witty!... But I like it._

DoorMan, the resident phaser of the team, looked like he had somehow widened the white eye lenses on his blue mask. "Oh God. What's he/she doing here?" he choked out panicking. The remaining two members that comprised the team stepped forward to meet Lady Deadpool's supposed threat to their wellbeing. One of them was mass changing heroine called Big Bertha and the other was their official leader, a Reed Richards lookalike who could stretch but was permanently two-dimensional and flat, unsurprisingly codenamed Flatman. "We don't want trouble Deadpool" he said, trying to be brave unconvincingly. Bertha increased her mass to be much larger as she always did before a fight. "To get to us…you'll have to _go through_ us" she affirmed.

"…**That might be some the most offensive banter I've ever heard. Some Avengers you are**" Wanda said, shifting cautiously as she saw that they were going into battle mode.

_You idiot! These aren't the Avengers! Well, the ones that matter anyway._

_**They're the Great Lakes Avengers!...Y'know, it doesn't sound half bad when you say it out loud. Great Lakes Aven—okay, it's horrible.**_

"**What? No way! You guys are crazy!**" Wanda told her voices.

_No, were not and they really are the Great Lakes Avengers!_

_**Come to think of it, I do remember Deadpool describing these guys to us in detail. For example, the huge chunk-'o'-woman that we'll never be is Big Bertha.**_

"**Really? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's Spider-Woman**" Wanda said, turning her head to the side slightly as if talking to someone behind her.

_Spider-Woman?_

"**Yeah and the red and blue costumed guy who looks like he's about to pee his pants is Spider-Man, right?**"

_Wow. I'm the product of your insane mind and this _still_ sounds crazy to me._

_**Hey, unsheathe your sword very quickly! Trust me, it'll get them to calm down.**_

"**Well…okay**" Wanda obeyed reluctantly, doing as the voice asked. The rapid motion of her pulling her sword out freaked the Great Lakes Avengers promptly, causing them to spontaneously react. Flatman stretched long in an instant and Bertha's ground shaking punch barely missed Lady Deadpool who jumped away just in time. "**Hey, what the hell? Bold Italic voice, this is totally your fault!**" Lady Deadpool complained.

_Yeah girlfriend, what the hell?_

_**Hey, I just wanted the fight to start. She was taking longer than a villain monologue during a church service to figure it out.**_

_Hah! It's funny cuz it's partly blasphemous._

Wanda flipped over Flatman as he stretched his body very quickly towards her aiming to knock her off balance but he only succeeded in ramming straight into Bertha who had been on Wanda's tail. Landing safely, Wanda somehow came face to face with the utterly scared half of their team. "**Well, since the pointy katana is out, might as well play with it**" she said, brandishing it in a threatening manner as both DoorMan and Mr. Immortal desperately thought out their next move. "**Where are the rest of the Avengers anyway?**" Wanda realized, a bit confused about the whereabouts of the team members. "**Where's Iron-Man and his sexy Iron-Man stuff, or Bucky Cap with his sexy metallic arm and shield? Or Thor and Wolverine with their sexy everything? Speak up, Spidey or get a stinging butt-full of Katana!...stinging sold separately**"

"Oh, wait…you think that we're the Main Avengers team?" DoorMan asked, suddenly understanding what was happening and anxious to find a way to stop it.

"**Zip it, Noh Varr! That's an awful DoorMan costume and accent, by the way**" she pointed out.

_That's what we've been trying to tell you! That really _is_ DoorMan!_

"**Say whaaaaaatttt?**" Lady Deadpool whined.

Mr. Immortal was now a bit encouraged to try and reason with her. "Look Deadpool, you may have forgotten or just don't care cuz you're crazy but we're not the main Avengers team. We're the—"

Wanda had visibly had enough of the constant slip ups about her identity. "**I am NOT Deadpool!**" she yelled, throwing her arms up in exasperation, mistakenly letting go of her sword, which travelled through the air only to land squarely in Immortal's chest. "**…Whoops. My bad, Spidey. You do have a healing factor, don't you?**"

Big Bertha and Flat-Man had since gotten back up and were now quick to rush to the scene of the accident. "He's not Spider-Man! He's Mr. Immortal!" Bertha shouted, as DoorMan attended to the never-dying Mr. Immortal who was on the floor now with the blade sticking out of his chest.

Lady Deadpool was now seriously bewildered. "**Okay…someone's gonna have to explain all this to me…also, I would like the premise of 'Lost' made clear too, but first all this**" she said, using her hand to gesture toward all of them.

"Gladly" agreed Flat-Man, clearly relieved that the fighting had ceased.

"**Wait, so you're telling me that you're the Great Lakes Avengers, Squirrel Girl left the team and I did the audition thing for nothing? Also, I'm in f#$ing Milwaukee?**" Her rant was met with confused stares from all of them, except Mr. Immortal who had, once again, temporarily passed. "Huh?" came the confused sound from DoorMan who wondered what the hell Wanda was talking about.

The realization hit her not soon after. "**Oh, sorry guys. I'm supposed to say all that immediately after the break in the chapter when you've explained it all to me; my bad**"

_She's never really been one to follow protocol._

_**I'm still giddy over us killing the fake Spider-Man! That was sweet! Too bad it was accidental and not purposely.**_

_Shut up and let the author put the break in the chapter! Go ahead, author guy…and just in case you were wondering, that was my flirty voice._

_**Hey! You said that I couldn't flirt with him!...well played.**_

…Oookkkayy, thanks for that. Anyway, the Great Lakes Avengers team looked at each other after Wanda's comment, knowing that it was going to be tough making her understand what the hell was really going on.

[]Lady Deadpool

"**Wait, so you're telling me that you're the Great Lakes Avengers, Squirrel Girl left the team and I did the audition thing for nothing? Also, I'm in f#$ing Milwaukee?...Whoa, Déjà vu**"

_Honest to God, you are such a total bimbo. You're the reason people make those dumb blonde jokes!_

Lady Deadpool was amongst them with her arms akimbo as they stood in a little circle, while they all looked at her in astonishment. After carefully explaining everything to her and her sharing her situation with them, the former chaos created by her appearance had subsided. They were all feeling a bit more comfortable with her, except for Mr. Immortal, who at the moment was holding his head, feeling a bit woozy after getting resurrected for the fourth time since the merc had arrived. "Please, stop killing me!" he wailed, careful not to stand too close to her.

"**Hey, I thought that you were a zombie the first few times. I happen to prefer my brains 'not eaten', with a side order of 'being fed copious amounts of T.V'**"

Flat-Man was the first to speak up about what she had told them. "So you're not Deadpool but you are Deadpool?"

"**Yup. From a neighboring dimension. But I'm stuck here for a while so I thought I might as well become an Avenger**" she told them. "**Sorry for bugging you Great Lakes Avengers dorks…I'm sorry, did I say dorks? Cuz I meant…dorks**"

_Hey, that was mean! This is why we have no dorks as friends!_

"So, you're a completely different Deadpool? A female version of him from another dimension?" DoorMan asked.

"**That has to be the worst lead-in to a come-on line that I've ever heard, fake Noh-Varr**" she mocked. "**I bet that's why Squirrel Girl left**"

Mr. Immortal had recuperated fully and was now a bit irritated at what had been going on. "Look" he began, folding his arms as he did "we are not the main Avengers but it doesn't give you the right to bust into our H.Q and start terrorizing us!"

Wanda regarded him quizzically for a moment. "**Let me guess: you were beat up constantly by girls as a child and now you take it out on strong female lead characters that totally deserve their own comic book**" Mr. Immortal was about to object to what she said, but was surprised to see the rest of his teammates glaring at him. "What? WHAT? Guys, don't tell me that you actually believe that?" Bertha now had her arms folded as she stood looking at Mr. Immortal, thinking about what Lady Deadpool had said. "I don't know. You do try to sideline me sometimes, Craig" Bertha revealed.

_Aww, sweet! We totally went all 'Patrick Jane' on his ass! Aaahhh, Simon Baker…what're we talking about?_

_**Maybe he has a phobia of mass changing women who use their super powers for good. It's a common fear.**_

Infuriated, Mr. Immortal threw his hands up in the air. "I can't believe this! This is—"

Interrupted mid-sentence by a gunshot, Mr. Immortal fell to the ground, with a bullet hole in his head. Once again, his team mates rushed to his side, watching him die for the umpteenth time. In anger, Big Bertha, with a scowl on her face turned to Lady Deadpool who was holding a smoking gun and looking on in surprise. "What the hell was that for?" Bertha yelled.

"**I thought I saw him reach for his zombie gun! Y'know, that zombies usually use?**"

"What're you talking about?" Bertha was having serious trouble keeping up with their guest's insanity. "**…Yeah…I should go**" Lady Deadpool proposed, quickly leaving them as they were still gathered round their fallen team mate. However, a moment later, she stopped in her tracks and slowly turned back to talk to them. "**…Uuh…what about the whole 'explaining the plot of Lost' thing, cuz I just—**"

"Just GO!" Bertha screeched, fed up with Wanda's antics. "**Fine, fine, I'm going!**" a sulking Wanda mumbled as she made her way out of their H.Q. Mr. Immortal, meanwhile, was still down for the count but his friends took pleasure in the fact that at least the source of "accidents" had left. "Finally, she's gone" FlatMan announced, letting out a deep breath that he didn't remember he had been holding in. Bertha's irritation had still not died down over what had just transpired. "That's exactly what the world needs" she told herself out loud, "another Deadpool."

"I don't know; she was kinda hot" Doorman let out, immediately regretting it as his two partners stared daggers at him.

[]

"So, now that everyone who could make it is here, we can get this meeting started" The Super Soldier's words were met with nods and grunts of affirmation by the individuals sitting at a long rectangular table, at which Steve Rogers himself eventually sat, taking a position at the small end so that he could effectively supervise their gathering. "Well, the first thing we're going to consider…is the roster of the team" Rogers said, once he had taken his seat, regarding the rest of the Avengers team which at the moment was missing Ironman and Maria. "Recently, it changed after the addition of a new member that I want all of us to agree on; I want us to be able to trust the person as well as their judgment" Steve's gaze rested on Red Hulk, the hero in question as did everyone else's. "It's important that we—"

"Can we trust him?" Logan questioned, not wasting any time to get to the point. Red Hulk looked at Logan with a smile, certain that he would be one person who would forever challenge him on the team. "You can trust me as much as you can trust anyone else on the team, Logan" the Red Hulk calmly answered.

"…Good answer, bub" Logan admitted, still suspicious of their new team mate.

Steve decided it was time for him to continue. "It's good that you feel free enough to ask the hard questions, Logan; that's the kind of behavior that I want to encourage on the Avengers and—"

Crashing through a window close to the table, Wanda Wilson fell to the ground with the wind taken out of her and was surprised as well as impressed when in seconds, the Avengers rushed over to where she had landed, and immediately braced themselves for going on the offensive with her. But when they got a good look at her costume, they reacted like expected and started groaning almost immediately. Logan, who had squatted over her and swiftly positioned a fistful of claw near her face, was the first to speak. "What the f#%? What did you do to yourself, Wade?"

_**What's he talkin' about?**_

_He thinks we're Deadpool and that we got some kind of sex change. Very original._

Still lying on the floor, staring up at the Avengers who looked bewildered and somewhat grossed out as they considered what Wolverine said, Wanda thought to confirm something. "**I just have one question: I'm not in Milwaukee, am I?**"

_**Hey, my ex-wife is from Milwaukee! Show some respect!**_

_Ex-wife? But you're a voice! And you're a girl!_

_**I could be a lesbian girl voice.**_

_Then why are you making her caress Logan's chest?_

Wanda stopped listening to the voice conversation in her head, only to realize that she had been sensually rubbing a stunned Wolverine's upper body. "Cut that the f%# out, Wade!" he barked, swatting her hands away and quickly standing to his feet.

"**But I'm not Wade!**" Wanda insisted, also getting up. Amongst them, Spider-Man just shook his head slowly, trying to make sense of the situation. "Wow…this is just a whole new level of crazy, Wade" he said. "Can't tell whether I'm impressed or deeply, deeply concerned" Just as she was about to angrily explain again that she wasn't Deadpool, Steve pushed through them and stood in front of her with his arms folded. "Deadpool, what are you doing here?" he asked in a quiet harsh tone.

_Oh God, it's Earth 616's Captain America. Not a douchebag like ours but a living legend, in every sense of the word. Treat him with respect._

…_**Ask him if you can touch his face.**_

"**Can I touch your face, Cap?**" Wanda inquired, slowly reaching for his cheek before he held her wrist firmly and pushed her hand back down. "Stop goofing around, Deadpool. Explain" Steve said more firmly this time.

"**I've been trying to tell you guys: I'm not Deadpool! I'm an alternate version of him that was brought to this earth to help Deadpool stop a cosmic bad guy and now that we have, I'm stuck on your earth with nothing to do so I thought I would join the Avengers. There, are you happy? I explained it**" she finished.

_**Now that the exposition is over, find Thor and get him to sign your brea—**_

"Wait, you're…not Deadpool?" Steve asked.

"**Uh, no. I just said I wasn't**"

"He's obviously lying!" Logan interjected with an irritated tone. Spider-Man and Hawk-Eye meanwhile were standing beside Logan now as they laughed at him. "You're just angry because you got groped" Spidey joked, making Logan turn his attention to the wall crawler. "Don't make me stick you, Webs" the feral mutant warned.

Seeing that Steve was almost convinced of what she had told them, she decided to damn the consequences and go for broke. "**If it'll make you guys feel better…**" she started, taking off her mask as she did. When met with her face, the expressions on _theirs_ changed instantaneously. "Wow" Hawk-Eye mumbled, thankful his wife wasn't there, "she's smokin"

"_Smokin_? I do not understand. She holds no cigarette" Noh-Varr said to Hawk-Eye, who ignored him for the most part.

_I can't believe it. People actually think we're hot! The Avengers think that we're hot!_

…_**What? I'm sorry, I was thinking about that YouTube video of a monkey doing the Macarena in a tu-tu. Was I that extremely off topic?**_

…_Not by much._

Even Logan was momentarily speechless. Spider-Man then took it upon himself to be the one to state the obvious. "Uhh, that's definitely not Wade" he stated, unable to stop gawking at the crazy blonde. "And I doubt even he could alter his appearance so…successfully"

"Why not?" a perturbed and curious Spider-Woman finally asked, after being silent all the while.

It was Logan who answered her question. "If you've seen his face, you would understand" he affirmed.

"Enough!" came the voice of Thor from the back. "It seems our guest is beset by our questions here and there; 'tis better that we allow her to fully and completely explain the sequence of events which brought her hither to Avengers tower with a decision to be part of these ranks" he suggested, walking up to Wanda who had to look up to stare at him when he got close.

"…**I love you**"

"What?" Thor asked.

"**Nothing**" she quickly evaded. "**I would start my usual 'rap serenade' that I do for cute guys but the chapters gonna end any way so…**"

_Seriously, author guy? You're ending the chapter here? When things just got juicy?_

_**Yeah, I think she was about to reveal to Thor that she was pregnant with Doom's baby and that he had been married to her evil twin sister all this while.**_

…That doesn't…that's…yeah, I'm ending this here.

_**Call me!**_

[]

_Did you like it? I bet you liked it! More will come, I promise you. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, let me have em. Next chapter: Wanda tells them how much she wants to be an Avenger. Will they let her be one or kick her to the curb? Find out in the next five million years when I finally update this story._

_But seriously now, let's talk pairings. As with all forms of media, fics move along much quicker and have the illusion of looking more interesting if there's a couple to root for. So, who do you think it should be? Iron-Man? Wolverine? Spidey? (Eww, by the way). Tell me what you think. I promise that when pairing her with who ever, I'll make it as realistic and Lady Deadpoolish as possible._


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